- Reach people for Christ and enable them to share Christ with others
- Shleter for sweet fellowship
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
In the summer of 2008 I attended a “Women of Faith” conference, during which one of the speakers challenged all in attendance to go home and pray with our husbands for 40 days. She told us that prayer between a husband and wife was one of the most intimate things a couple can do. After hearing her plea to try this for just 40 days to “see what happens” -- I knew that, although the Lord may have been speaking to many women in the arena, He was definitely speaking to me.
It may seem surprising to some that a Christian couple, nearing their 25th wedding anniversary, did not already have in place the discipline of regular prayer together. It wasn’t that we weren’t praying – we both prayed over meals, we prayed over our children, and we prayed with our friends. We prayed out loud, we prayed silently, and we prayed corporately -- but we did not pray together. We talked about praying together from time to time and how we needed to do it -- but we never got around to making it a regular part of our prayer life.
When I came home from the conference I asked Pat if he would be willing to try praying together for 40 days to see what would happen. He agreed it was long overdue and we began praying together the very next morning. We stuck with it after the 40-day mark and now, a year and a half later, it has become a daily discipline and something we look forward to before we go to work each day.
We have learned firsthand the benefits of praying together as a couple. It is in fact a very intimate act because we are listening to each other open our hearts to God. It has ignited something new in our relationship that is deep and meaningful for both of us. It involves trust on both sides as we are vulnerable about our concerns, fears and needs.
We have celebrated together in prayer over what God has done for us. In fact, we have been celebrating in prayer a lot lately as we thank Him for seeing us through our transition from our former church to our new Greenridge church home. We are thanking God for all of you!
We have prayed through job changes, for dear friends, scary medical tests, aging parent issues, a son’s broken heart, major decisions, and financial struggles. It has not only brought us closer together but it has changed us. We are on the same page. When we pray over a decision, we are more than likely in agreement over God’s direction.
It is easy to go day to day and never know what your spouse is really going through. We pass each other and have so little time to connect with the heart. Through prayer we are open and honest about where we are at and what we are concerned with for the day and beyond. When I pray over Pat for his work day it draws me into his world in ways that I would not know otherwise. The same happens for him when he prays for me. We are able to support each other in specific rather than general ways.
If you are a young couple, please do not wait 25 years to begin praying together! If you are already praying together, then you are way ahead of the game! If this is new to you, as it was to us, then I urge you to take the 40-day challenge!
One of the most precious benefits of a couple praying together is when their children happen to see them holding hands and talking to the Lord. Some of you reading this grew up with this experience and some did not. Pat and I did not, but we want to leave that legacy for our sons. There have been times when they have asked us to pray for them -- especially if there is a big decision looming in some area of their life. Nothing warms our hearts more than to have one of our sons ask us to pray for them.
If I haven’t convinced you yet to try the 40-day challenge for yourself, let me pass on to you statistics I came across recently. Baylor University’s sociology department performed a research study on couples who pray together for about 5 minutes per day versus couples who do not. The results of this study (later matched nearly exactly by a secular Gallup poll) found that when married couples pray together they see an increase in happiness, intimacy, and confidence in the stability of their marriages. The fear of divorce plummets to nearly zero! It is very hard to hold a grudge or keep a wall up for very long when you are praying together!
Can we all agree that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children, our church, and our society is a happy, healthy marriage? We have found (after waiting way too long) that prayer is one of the foundations of health and stability between a husband and wife. While it won’t necessarily make a perfect union, it certainly helps us strive before God to place Him first in all aspects of the relationship. Our marriages can reach the goal that is stated in the scripture above: “A cord of three strands (Pat, me and Jesus) is not quickly broken.”
Give it a try for 40 days…and see what happens!
~Laura (and Pat) Acuña
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